Archive for January, 2009
Open Mic
Greg invited me to see him performing at an open mic comedy night. I should have known this would be a bad idea; you should never mix friendship and art, that’s how Art Garfunkel lost a leg.
It started when the act on before Greg, an Irish gentleman named Brian Fisher, asked me what I did for a living. As though he’d be able to understand any answer I could give him. I lost it.
“I am capable of nothing now, but I used to be a promising young comedian named Brian Fisher. But you would know that. You stole my life, you stole my wife & you stole my trainers. No more!”
I launched myself at the stage and attempt to wrestle his trainers off his feet. I don’t know what happened next but Greg says I was hit in the head with a microphone stand. There’s no food left in my flat; according to Greg, carrying me home was so tiring that he had no choice but to eat it all.
Such persecution is the sign of a truly great man. I wonder when Brian Fisher’s next gig is.
Theology
Pascal had it all wrong. My wager is to live a life so dull that even if God does exist he won’t have the slightest bit of interest in me one way or the other.
