Sam Peeps’ Diary

Spent the evening in Gordon’s squat, blowing up balloons and drawing Richard Dean Anderson’s face onto them. Gordon is going to send them to America to encourage them to make new episodes of Stargate.

I am excited because they are making a brand new series with all new characters, which is good because it gives more actors a chance to dip their quills into the thorough canvas that is Stargate, but I shouldn’t have mentioned this to Gordon. He is firmly convinced that only episodes with the original cast count and has even written his own versions of all the other episodes to better fit what he believes Stargate to be about. My real mistake was suggesting that the episode where General O’Neill has to seek the assistance of the Top Gear team couldn’t possibly fit into the continuity of the series as it has been well established that Teal’c is actually very good at driving.

Gordon got quite upset and started screaming and bursting the Richard Dean Anderson balloons. I made my escape through the window. Never discuss politics.

Greg is coming over. Greg is my friend, but really I’m a bit scared of him. We met in the library when he shouted at me because I was holding the Making of Stargate book and he wanted to look at it. I let him have it then he said I was a good friend and laughed and punched me really hard on the the arm. He punches me really hard on the arm a lot. Sometimes it is so hard I want to cry, but I don’t.

Usually he comes over to show me his new lady magazines. He likes to point at his favourite ladies and punch the air, or if they’re especially nice, my arm.

He says he’s got a special lady magazine from the internet with ladies from Stargate in it. This is quite exciting, but I think I might put on my thickest jumper, just in case he takes a shine to any of them. I’m not sure how much Greg really likes Stargate, the other day I asked him whether he thought the spin-off novelisations were canon and he didn’t know.

I hope he doesn’t eat all my Jaffa Cakes again.